Man Falls Over at Old Trafford – United 2, Bolton 0

By: Simon James | September 28th, 2008

The headlines wrote themselves this morning for all the wrong reasons. Rob Styles’ itchy whistle finger contrived to invent a new type of offence for awarding a penalty of which he is yet to explain to the media.

It was pretty clear to everyone that it wasn’t a penalty and Styles was spooked by the OT faithful and immediately blew. His view was perfect, it was a sunny clear day, Ronaldo even fell over in instalments. Styles still saw something we all didn’t. Luckily for you and the Offside, I managed to get an interview with Styles as he headed as he hitchhiked home down the M6. He told me he had, at the very moment that the tackle happened, been beamed up by powerful aliens who were betting on the game and they threatened to raze Old Trafford to the ground unless he gave a penalty when he was placed back. Kind of like a alien betting ring futuristic “Pause Live TV”.

So there you have it, very simple explanation, and a damn sight more believable than anything he will ever tell you.

Shame really as the game was pretty good game up to that point and even better after it. Rooney came on and looked like a World Beater again. His link-up play with Ronaldo for his goal was poetry Berbatov played 90 minutes and looked a little quiet save for a few moments of quality, a bit few and far between for me, he needs a performance or at least a goal, I feel. Anderson started again, and was replaced by Scholes who looked very lively when he came on, he was determined to get forward like the Scholes of old. My old mate Park was on for the whole game and I can’t help thinking that he is getting his starts for the start of the season so Fergie can be justified in dropping him after Christmas when the race really starts.

All in all, a competent and encouraging performance that was both convincing and encouraging, I feel that someone is in line for a hammering very soon.

Man Utd: Van der Sar, Neville, Ferdinand, Vidic, Evra, Ronaldo (Nani 80), Fletcher, Anderson (Scholes 71), Park, Tevez (Rooney 71), Berbatov.
Subs Not Used: Amos, Giggs, O’Shea, Evans.

Bolton: Jaaskelainen, Steinsson, Cahill, Andrew O’Brien, Samuel, Davies, Nolan, McCann, Muamba, Gardner (Smolarek 73), Elmander (Vaz Te 66).
Subs Not Used: Al Habsi, Taylor, Joey O’Brien, Riga, Shittu.