4 Questions to Ponder Prior to Blackburn’s loss to the Red Devils

By: Taylor Rockwell | October 3rd, 2008

1) Will Berbatov’s ass be less fat and lazy against the Rovers?

Can he survive without a stead flow of cheeseburgers? Yes, I know that Berba had a brace against AAB, and both the goals were pretty and made me squeal with glee and clap like a small child… but not enough to curb my sinking feelings that Berba may be the fattest skinny person in the history of the world. That is, there were countless opportunities for him to get into the box and win a header. Instead, he would pass the ball, watch his teammate run onto it and play deft ball into the box, and then watch it roll harmlessly out of bounds as Berba stood in place and ate a cheeseburger. Lord Ferg must break him of this laziness, or frustration in the ranks will soon begin to mount.

2) What/who exactly is our best starting XI?

In order to write an adequate preview, it is necessary to put forth a potential starting lineup. This is difficult to do for United because 1) half the team may or may not be injured and 2) no one (it appears not even Fergie) knows who should be included in our ideal lineup. Three class forwards, three/four solid outside backs, and 140 talented/skilled midfielders… and then you’re still left with John O’Shea and Park Ji-Sung. It is rumored that we will be without Carrick, Hargreaves, and Scholes, and yet I still have no idea who should be running in the midfield. My guess would be Nani/Giggs/Park/Fletcher, O’Shea, Anderson, and Slave… speaking of…

3) How big of an elephant in the room is Slave?

This is mostly coming from my perspective/personal feelings, but I really have no idea what to make of Slave and his potential this season. We know now (as we have always feared) that he will be gone sooner rather than later. So with every touch, run, shot, and goal, I am increasingly conflicted in regards to his involvement this season. Obviously, the more he plays the bigger the threat from our attack. But I find it impossible to celebrate his achievements the way I did last year, because (in all likelihood) the end of the season will find Slave and his fist-sized diamond donning a King Franco FC jersey.

4) What happens if Tevez keeps performing at an outstanding level? BFF or Future Rivals?

Many were shocked when Fergie’s lineup against Bolton consisted of a strike force of Rooney and Berbatov, because it is clear that Tevez is our best, most consistent threat to score (with the possible exception of Slave). Why then was the Argentinean left on the bench? Could it be because Rooney and Berba are the golden children, and Tevez is the ugly step daughter who the new mom will never really love? A reach of a metaphor, I know, but it stands to reason. When given the choice between the three attackers, put your money on Fergie to pick Shreck and FattySkinny. However, Lord Ferg announced on Friday that Rooney would be unlikely to figure against Blackburn due to an injury suffered in the AAB match. So what happens if a Tevez-Berba combo shines? Will Fergie sit Rooney in favor of Lil’ Carlitos? Doubtful. But given his propensity to patrol the entire field and his prowess in goal maybe Van Der Sar could have a holiday for a bit.

SIDENOTE: How weird is it to watch that video and wonder how many times Lord Ferg yells those few comments throughout any given match? Going to guess at least 40-50 times per quote.